“Grace for the Games”

This is it, guys. Neale made it to the big time. For the past three years he has put in countless hours at the gym, refusing to act his age and slip quietly into the nursing home, and crushed all the 20-something year-old men in his path. And that path has led to the CrossFit Games where he will compete against the top 20 masters athletes in the world!

But making it to the Games comes with a hefty price. You must travel to Madison, Wisconsin. Stay there for almost a week. And take time off work to do it. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Wisconsin, but it’s almost in Canada. It’s that far away. And I’m pretty sure they speak French.

So we’re gonna support Neale’s trip in the most boring way possible—financially. He didn’t ask for help. But we offered.

Here’s where you come in. You’re gonna sign up to compete at this dank fundraiser. We’re gonna give you a barbell, let you throw it over your head 30 times quickly, and whoever can make the fastest exercise will win a huge, custom trophy. Actually, the *three* fastest men and *three* fastest women will all get huge custom trophies! This is going to be an item for your mantle that your loved ones will fight over when you’re dead. You can’t put a price on that.

The workout is “Grace.” You perform 30 Power Clean and Jerks as quickly as you can. You’ll have a judge, and the judge will make you do it right, but get your mind right…this is a fundraiser. This is not The CrossFit Games. That’s where Neale is going–not you. So relax and have fun with this. Spend $25 to help a friend, have a good time, and you might even get a prize.

Jeff is going to be the head judge, and if he spots any funny business with reps that shouldn’t count, he’s just gonna spray your barbell with melted Kerrygold butter. And it’s the salted kind. The salted butter is terrible. So do your reps right or get your bar buttered in the middle of Grace.

If competing isn’t your thing, then make a donation. Any amount would be awesome. You make a donation just like you buy a ticket. Donations are listed as a type of ticket. So you’ll pay some money, but you’re not actually getting anything in return—like Astrology. But instead of Miss Cleo, your donation will go to help your buddy Neale. So dig out those (electronic) twenty-dollar bills, those fifty-dollar bills, and those hundred-dollar bills. Be generous. Big donations help so much!

And we absolutely must have volunteers to help run this. And I need to know who my volunteers are before gameday. So after you make that donation, register as a volunteer. I promise it will be fun and painless.

This is community, fellas–helping our friends when it’s their turn. This is Neale’s turn. Let’s show him the love and put some gas in his tricycle so he can make it to Wisconsin.

Sign up here